Flarb?

Quick side note before i get to the actual post: One time i went to camp for a week. I loved it so so much, and to this day wish i had gone back. There was one night where EVERYONE camped in the woods (not tents, just sleeping bags). It was so cool. We ate hobo stew, suffered the awkwardness of finding a bathroom in the woods, stared at the stars, etc. Our camp counselor sang us the song "Wagon Wheel" before we went to bed, and to this day i still love it. It brings back so many memories! However, the lovely night was ruined by a 6 a.m. rain shower. Still amazing.

On to the post. I am so tired of feeling like i have to defend myself. My mom informed me that my sister is really offended that i don't tell her anything that happens in my life. My mom feels that way too, and i totally get it. It's become so clear over the past few months just how much i shut them out. What they don't understand is WHY i do, and the fact that i do it to EVERYONE. I've been depressed, i've been hurt over the years, i'm scared to let people in, and i trust no one. Those aren't things you can just move on from. It takes time. But they don't get that. Part of me wants to explain this so badly, but honestly it's just so personal. It's not something i want to share, and it's definitely something i think i have the right to keep personal. It's just irritating to know that EVERYONE around me is mad at me for my decision. No matter how much i try to explain this to them, they won't accept it. They won't listen. It will drive me insane.