Dreams. Differences. Missing You.

None of those are really related, but it's about to be what i cover. Lets go!


I had a dream (and it's been a while so i can't remember many details), that i was at a hospital/church. In my dreams, places and people transform so quickly and randomly that it gets pretty confusing at times. Anyways, while there, me, Allison, and some other random kids were having a secret meeting in a officey room in the hospital. (I've had this dream before though, in various ways, but the main point is the same). I don't know what we were saying but we had three rocks (Grey, Pink, and Purple). The purple transported us places, the pink did something, and the grey was for throwing at people (hahaha, that would be me). So everyone else transported away, and i went downstairs toward what would become the church. Then Maryann pulled me aside and started talking to me about important conversation stuff. We talked and i loved it (i loved it enough that when i woke up i was going to text her thanks, and then i realized it was a dream). But Pastor came along and was mad that i missed church, just when she started yelling my mom called, and i was able to leave. Then i magically got the purple rock and transported away! My dreams are something......ahhaahahah.


Difference between bullying and fighting, is there one? I mean, bullying is a kid picking on, and beating up another person right? Of course in the case of bullying more is involved, but still. Fighting is almost the same. I mean fighting is two kids disagreeing, one initiating it all. One kid getting beat up, the other not as much (but some). So really, how is it different? I could dive more into this but i'm tired.


I am missing my best friend. Okay, so Abbie is best friends with Lizzy right? And i mean they make status for each other, they are typical best friends. And i'm happy for both of them, i really really am. I love them to death and i want them to be happy. At the same time i hate it. I just feel like i'm being replaced more and more by Lizzy. I don't resent her for that, but it just hurts a little bit. Abbie hasn't talked to me in forever, she just doesn't want to. She doesn't say she can trust me with anything, or post on my stuff. She doesn't text me. She doesn't have to though, it's not like we're married or anything. But it's things like that that best friends do for each other (and that she does for Lizzy) that she doesn't do for me, and it just keeps making me feel more and more that i'm being replaced. In fact i know i am. I know she still cares, and that if i really need to talk i can tell her, but in the end i don't feel like she cares. I just don't think she does. None of my best friends do. I'm slowly becoming more alone, i think. Stefani cares which has been nice, and my counselors (Ms. Cain and Elizabeth) care. Sulata cares more than any of my "school" friends, which makes me happy. But that's it, ya know? I'm not taking them for granted, but only having 3 people who care that are always busy (WAIT, i forgot Linda. So 4 people) is hard. I hate being so dependent. I hate needing to talk. I hate hate hate it. I just wish i was normal. That i could handle things on my own.