Things have been really bad lately. I mean serious enough that my teacher told the counselor, and the counselor called both my parents. That almost never happens (unless it's bad). I don't want to focus on that though. You just have to know it's been bad.
But today i got the nicest message. Well, maybe not the nicest message i'll ever get (although it was pretty freaking sweet) but it definitely came EXACTLY at the time i needed it. Today so far has been especially rough. But this email made me smile. It made me cry for so many different reasons. Mainly because i realized people truly truly cared, and i realized they love me. But it also made me realize that having those feelings (of being cared/loved) made me want to live. It gave me hope. It brightened my day. It helped in so many ways.
I don't know if i could really explain how much it helped. I mean, it didn't fix things. I'm still not okay, and i still have an extremely long way to go. But that ounce of hope it gave me makes me want to hold on. It makes me want to eat again (as in not starve myself), and to smile, and to move on. I have felt alone, uncared about, and unloved for so long. You have no clue how much that can mess you up unless you've been there. And honestly, one message can make all the difference for a while. It really has the power to do that.
Please don't get me wrong. I know one message isn't some miracle worker, i'll be just as depressed tomorrow, and like i said things will still be hard. But right now that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because right now i am sure someone loves me and cares. It's even better because they don't have to.
The point is, right now i'm a little happy. And that is something huge to me.
**There will be another post to come with what the message said and so on**
No comments:
Post a Comment