BLAH.

So i failed at blogging every day of summer. Yeah, so what. I fail, and well, i know that.

But right now, i need to vent. I have no one to tell, nothing. So where do i turn every time? Here.

See, Abbie got her phone taken away. That whole situation alone causes me a lot of stress. See, basically she's grounded and stuff and her GM is looking at boarding school, which means i won't get to see her this summer. I was hoping i could though, especially since it would help our friendship. But when i mentioned hanging out she was just like okay. I asked her if she was excited and she was like no. And all i'm thinking is that's kind of rude, ya know? It just hurt. I know things are hard for her. I get it. But still, it hurts. I didn't say anything though. The point is, that's why i can't talk to her and that is something thats stressing me.

The other thing is, we were planning on going to a movie. We being me and Grace. Anyways, while we were doing that she started inviting her other friends which is fine, go for it. But it made me feel incredibly awkward. I'm a very shy person, and the thought of being shoved into a group of random strangers gives me a lot of anxiety. It just isn't pleasant. I just don't feel comfortable with that.

Then Grace started skyping with her friend which again was fine. I was just on the computer, so it doesn't even matter. But as she was talking to her, i started feeling bad. It was so clear how much less i am when compared to Grace's friend. I'm like nothing, and she (and all their other friends) are so much better. The longer they talked, the more clear it became and the angrier i got. I don't know how to explain it but i know that i am less than them. I'm not as good as they are, and it's just clear. I hate myself for that. I mean genuinely hate myself for it.

It's just been a rough night. I don't know. I'm complaining too much. Sorry.

**FYI: I don't know is seriously my go to answer for everything. That and i don't understand. Both a generally true, but there are also a lot of times when i say one of those just out of habit.**