For almost all of today i have felt numb, which i hate but it's better than being super sad, however like everyday i'm numb, the evening has sucked. Being numb (for me) involves being very distracted and being able to suppress things well. Something about night makes those two things impossible.

So today, March 13: I've said it before but oh well. I feel like you don't care about me (someone specific here). I feel like i pour so much of my life into being the best friend i can, and you don't. It means a lot to me to be a good best friend, but i feel like you don't care about those  things. Maybe you don't see how insecure i can be. Maybe it's just not your thing, or maybe i'm really not your best friend. I wish you would just answer me honestly and tell me if i am. I wish i could trust whatever you say and take it to heart. But i can't. I just can't. I hate it.