Today i wrapped my hair, and got songs for my ipod. I've always loved the scarfs (hijabs) muslims wear. I think they're so incredibly beautiful, and it's amazing how perfect they look and everything. So i took one of my scarves, and went at it. It turned out pretty well, and my friend (she's muslim) gave me her approval, as did her mom. I was proud(: It makes me wish christians wore scarves. I think it'd be tons of fun to wear. The songs i got were some of my favorites; i'm super pumped. Also, tomorrows youth group and friday's almost here. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now for a letter.
Dear Grandmother,
I came to a realization tonight. One i really hate to face. It occurred to me, that i don't know you. I only know so much about you, and i'm dying to know more. There is just so much i'd love to learn about you, and no one to ask. I guess i wish i just knew all about you. So that when my kids ask about their great grandma (because i will so be telling them about you) i can have so much to say. I want them to love you and see you as the wonderful person i do, even if they won't get to meet you. Right now, it's hard not being able to know you. I just found out a few months ago you had siblings, and i'm glad i learned that much. I finally learned where you worked and where you used to live. I know these small facts must seem so mundane, but to me they mean the world. It puts me one step closer to you each time i hear a new one. I so badly want to know what your husband was like (my grandpa i guess you could call him?). I also want to know what Bill was like, and what happened in each of those relationships. I want to know what it was like being a young mom, and what it was like growing up when you did. I want to know what you loved to do, and all the things you could have taught me. I want to know you. I really really just want the chance to talk with you again. To know you, and get a little closer with every bit of information. I know i'm being hopeful, and i know my questions won't be answered for a long time. More than anything though in the whole entire world, i wish you were here again. Just for a little while longer. I miss you so incredibly much. I hope you can see that. And see how much i've grown and changed, and i really hope you like who i've become. I hope you're proud. I wrote you a letter and put it in your coffin when you died, hoping that you could read it somehow and know i meant what i said. I wish i had the chance to do that again. Just one more chance to give you something. Something that can rest with you forever. Something that could possibly make you understand you are one of the best people i know, and i'll never forget you. Not in a million years. I love you so much.
Love,
Little Lady.
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