I write too often i think.

Anyways, i feel incredibly stressed right now. Not about school though. I mean, that's bugging me since i have work to do, it's nine o clock and i havent studied, not to mention my test tomorrow. But that's not too bad because i know i can get it done.

What's bugging me (and i might have posted this before but i honestly can't remember) is the fact that i really can't do anything for anyone. My best friends hurt emotionally right now, and what can i do put tell her it'll get better. I can't fix it, i can't fully understand it, i can't offer advice that makes it all clear. I can only tell her what she's been told millions of time. It'll get better. It's apart of Gods plan. That might be consoling at first but not after hearing it for 9 years of her life, if not more. That's a big portion of it. That i can't fix those things for her. But it eventually turns into more than that. I can't do that for anyone. I can't solves everyones problems or begin to console them. I can't understand them all or even take time to hear them all. I can't see through their masks or fight until i know the answer. I just can't. I don't think it's possible for a 16 year old, let alone most people, to do that for everyone. People only know as much as someone tells them, but even then do they always get it? I think the one time someone knows exactly how someone else feels is when they've been there. If they haven't been there, then it seems foreign. If someone tried to describe rape to me, or what it's like to not eat for months, i would honestly never get it because i've never been put in any position close to it. It just eats away at me that there is so much i don't understand and so much i can't fix. Not just for my best friend, but for everyone who needs it. This all leaves me with one question though. If i can't fix myself, how am i supposed to fix others?

This whole thing just bugs me. Seeing my friend post statuses and tell me what she's going through. Reading those secrets on six billion secrets. Hearing sad stories on the news. And not being able to do a single thing about any of it. I guess you could say it makes me feel weak, powerless, out of control. I don't like any of those things. But it also makes me feel like a bad friend. One that doesn't deserve a spot in peoples lives, especially when i can't help them. (It just occurred to me that the last sentence actually feeds into my insecurities with my friendships. Its like a big circle).