Day 1, for lack of a better title.

Okay this really isn't what i should be doing right now. It's 11:34 at night and i really should be asleep. But my friend Allison started a blog, and she inspired me to do one too. Not because i'm trying to be a copycat, but because what she said was so honest, so real. I wish to achieve that. I want people to understand that there's more to me than what meets the eye. We all have struggles, and i don't know, but maybe the more people speak out about them, the more we can all do something to fix them. I have an incredible amount of hope placed in my generation and the one proceeding us. Hopefully, if we all do enough things won't turn out so bad. Just maybe we'll be able to change the world a bit, and bring some good in for people who haven't gotten it. That is, if we can all set down the less important things and strive to do our best to change things for the better. This goes for me too, not just everyone else. There's just one more thing to say. My blog title is in no way an indication that i want to die. Sure, i've thought it from time to time but i'm in no way suicidal. I just want people to understand how i feel, what i think about everything, and look at things from my eyes for a while. I want to be able to die knowing at least someone gets what i mean. Someone out there can see things from my point of view. 


Thinking about it now, my blog probably won't be as close to Allisons as i had originally thought. We are two completely separate people, and my take on how to do this will be completely different from hers. All i know is i will be completely honest. No matter how harsh, or out there something is, i will write it and i will keep it up. I'm going to write everything i can. My thoughts on big topics, my relationship with God, what makes me sad and happy, what i miss, what i think is wrong with my life& me, and what i love about my life and myself. I'm sure as time goes on i'll think of more and more to say. Last and final thing: I don't think i can post everyday. I don't have time for that (thank you school) and plus i find it really hard. I don't take pressure like that too well. However, i hope to get a post in 2-3 times a week. Maybe more depending on the amount of free time i have. 


Overall, i hope someone reads this and will continue to read my blog. I really just hope that someone out there, somewhere, someday, gets a chance to read this.